If you read this post, you know that recently I have been struggling with comparing myself to other bloggers in terms of numbers, stats, followers, themes, etc. I have been trying so hard to “fit in” that I’ve been driving myself crazy. Why don’t I have X amount of followers? Why am I not getting more page views?
(Side note: I wrote this about 2 months ago when I was struggling with comparison, and I never posted it… Some of my thoughts have changed but I still wanted to post it to encourage y’all!!!)
Blogging is tough. It is tough because so often it is competitive, or secretly competitive. No one ever openly admits that, but I have seen it from my side as of recently.
I want nothing more than to be a full-time blogger when I graduate.
I will repeat that for emphasis…. I want nothing more than to be a full-time blogger when I graduate.
Woah, back up…
I’ve been hearing myself say this and I have been (almost) driving myself crazy trying to “do things right” that I don’t even know what’s “right” anymore. What is right in the world of blogging?
I want nothing more than to be a full-time blogger when I graduate.
If I want nothing more, where does Jesus fit in?
Where is His hand in this? What does He get to do and say in this endeavor of mine? Wasn’t this blog supposed to be an outlet both to express my creativity and to spread the word of Jesus?
When did my priorities become all jumbled?
I think that they became jumbled when I thought that blogging was more important than Jesus, more important than school, more important than most things.
Yes, I want this really bad, but maybe blogging isn’t in the Lord’s plans for me… Maybe it is. I am just going to have to be patient to see where HE takes me with this, not where I can take myself with this.
“When you finally let go something better comes along.”
As I was lying in my bed the other night, thinking about blogging, what to write about, what outfit to put together, what to post on Instagram, the Lord stopped me in my thoughts and sort of hinted, “Where do I fit in? Do you have time for me in your schedule? When can we catch up and talk?”
The truth is, I have prayed for my blogging dreams to come true, but I haven’t really had a conversation with God about it. I haven’t told him of my dreams and aspirations to build that relationship, but I’ve told him almost as if He were going to answer my prayer.
The truth is, Jesus hasn’t been a priority over blogging and I haven’t made time for Him as I should. That relationship has been taking the backburner while I follow my own path.
Don’t we all know that going your own way without God is a big no-no?
It breaks my heart that I have neglected Him once again. It breaks my heart that the Lord just tries to get my attention, but my fixation distracts me from Him. It breaks my heart that the Lord loves me so much, yet my behavior is showing that I love blogging more than I love Him.
I don’t love blogging more than I love the Lord, but as of recently, I’ve been going down that path. I haven’t been praying about blogging, I haven’t had a single conversation with Him, but instead I’ve been following a checklist, both with blogging and with the Lord.
I am so incredibly thankful that the Lord broke through and broke me down to realize what direction I’ve been heading. I still do love blogging, but I realize that I need to put more time and more effort into my relationship with Him.
Related: Be Where Your Feet are Planted
That being said, I am giving up blogging.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” –Proverbs 4:25-27
You might be thinking, “Woah Sally, that’s kind of extreme, don’t you think? If you love it so much, don’t give it up!”
Well, let me explain myself when I say I am “giving up blogging.”
I am giving up blogging to Him. I am letting Him take the wheel, I am letting the Lord take this where He wants, and I am going to try (with try being the key word) to let go and let God.
I want Him to be the reason for every post. I want Him to be the driving force behind my dreams. I want Him to fill me up, not some numbers that fluctuate and are unpredictable.
I am giving up blogging to Him.
I am going to continue to blog, don’t you worry. I still love blogging and yes, I still have that dream of being a full-time blogger living in Alabama in a white house with a little dog. I still have that dream and hope. But that’s the thing, it’s just a dream. God exceeds our expectations, He exceeds our hopes and dreams, and He ultimately knows what is best for me, best for you. I just have to trust that He knows what He is doing. I have to just trust in Him and His promises.
Related: The Comparison Game
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” –Colossians 3:2
Who knows if I’ll be a full-time blogger in the future. I sure as heck don’t know. I would love it, but I don’t want to call the shots. I want God to do his job and take the wheel.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” –Proverbs 3:5
I am still going to be the same me, but with more Jesus. I am going to spend a little less time behind the scenes so that I can really spend time with my first love, Jesus.
He is the reason I’m here. He is the reason I’m forgiven. He, simply, is.
As I am giving up my blogging and placing it in God’s hands, I encourage you to let go and let God. Let Him guide you. Let Him love you. Let Him show you all of His power. Let Him work profoundly in your life. Give up blogging to Him.
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Love this Sally! Can’t wait to read where God takes you!
Thank you so much, Alexis! Your comments are always so sweet! :)
You gave me a heart attack at first and I couldn’t have ended up loving this more! You are such an inspiration and a light to the blogging world, Sally!!
http://www.mollyonthemoveblog.com
Hahahaha!!! I know, the title is a bit misleading… Thank you for your sweet encouragement as always, Molly!
There are so many times when I feel the exact same way! For me it used to be Polyvore an outfit making social media. I was hooked and always thinking about it. I finally had to actually quit, because it was an idol for me. Now I get on every once and a while, but it has not been the same since then. I find myself though treating other things as idols and have to give them up for similar reasons. I’m so grateful you were led back to Christ through your rough times as a blogger. I pray that all of God’s children find the fact that we cannot let anything take God’s place at any time. He is the one who created us, so we should treat Him as first priority! Sorry this was so long, I just love that you have the courage to speak about these truths that no other blog I’ve seen has!
Girl, I love long comments!! Thank you for sharing your story with me and us! I think it’s so important to take a step back from the worldly things and to refocus on God! Idols are NO fun!
Sally! I absolutely LOVE this post :) I need to do the exact same thing! I stress way to much over numbers and followers and its not worth it because in the end, its up to Him! Thanks for this post! I needed it today!
Thank you so much, Savanna! The break has honestly been SO GOOD and I couldn’t recommend it enough! It got me out of my blogging funk and it helped me get re-inspired by the Lord and now I am writing posts that He puts on my heart!
Hey Sally, I just read your post! I have been following you for a few weeks, I believe I found you through my IRL blogger friend Kayla! I love this post. I don’t have a blog but I have been doing the Instagram thing seeing if it’s worth blogging at all and it’s vicious. People with thousands and thousands of followers will follow you and then unfollow you- whether you follow or not. I hate how cheap it has become and how mean. I’m at a standstill in my life and I definitely need to have a greater conversation with God, I finished school a year ago and I’m still not sure where I’m going. Thanks for the real post !
Thank you so much for reading, Courtney! Yes, Instagram and social media can be so tough… I used to put my worth in those numbers, but it is just so draining! The material things in this life are so draining! Thanks for reading :)
I needed to read this today. I’ve been in a similar boat lately with my relationship with God, and I am encouraged that I am not the only one! Thanks for being so open and honest. You are wiser than you know.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Jennifer! We are all in the same boat, whether you know it or not!
This post hit me right in the chest, because I can so relate. It’s definitely the message I’ve been needing to hear. I remember praying God would lead me on my blogging journey when and I first started, and it’s such a good reminder to keep looking to Him in all this.
Thank you for sharing!
I love this post! The title totally got me. I was all NOOO then I kept reading. Such a good reminder girl!
http://moosmusing.com
Your posts are always so thought provoking. Love this one especially Sally
Kate || KATE KOUTURES
Wow Sally, this is incredible to read! Thank you for being so open and honest about this, your wisdom and faith in this is so apparent! I am so proud of you for realizing this and giving it over to God. Love you!!
Whew, so glad you aren’t going to stop blogging (which is what I thought when I saw the post title!). This is such a great reminder for me because when I started my Etsy shop, I prayed that God would do WHATEVER he wanted with it, that the shop would be 100% his. And I’ve forgotten to pray stuff like that recently, which is basically me forgetting to surrender everything I do to him. Thank you for this reminder!!
I just read your post and wow. Idk what else to say besides the fact that I’ve been feeling/thinking the exact same way recently. I never thought about anyone else struggling with this before but I’m so glad that I found your post and it just goes to show how the Lord does work in mysterious ways. Thanks for sharing!