I am Giving Up Blogging

If you read this post, you know that recently I have been struggling with comparing myself to other bloggers in terms of numbers, stats, followers, themes, etc. I have been trying so hard to “fit in” that I’ve been driving myself crazy. Why don’t I have X amount of followers? Why am I not getting more page views?

(Side note: I wrote this about 2 months ago when I was struggling with comparison, and I never posted it… Some of my thoughts have changed but I still wanted to post it to encourage y’all!!!)

Blogging is tough. It is tough because so often it is competitive, or secretly competitive. No one ever openly admits that, but I have seen it from my side as of recently.

I want nothing more than to be a full-time blogger when I graduate.

I will repeat that for emphasis…. I want nothing more than to be a full-time blogger when I graduate.

Woah, back up…

I’ve been hearing myself say this and I have been (almost) driving myself crazy trying to “do things right” that I don’t even know what’s “right” anymore. What is right in the world of blogging?

I want nothing more than to be a full-time blogger when I graduate.

 If I want nothing more, where does Jesus fit in?

Where is His hand in this? What does He get to do and say in this endeavor of mine? Wasn’t this blog supposed to be an outlet both to express my creativity and to spread the word of Jesus?

When did my priorities become all jumbled?

I think that they became jumbled when I thought that blogging was more important than Jesus, more important than school, more important than most things.

Yes, I want this really bad, but maybe blogging isn’t in the Lord’s plans for me… Maybe it is. I am just going to have to be patient to see where HE takes me with this, not where I can take myself with this.

“When you finally let go something better comes along.”

As I was lying in my bed the other night, thinking about blogging, what to write about, what outfit to put together, what to post on Instagram, the Lord stopped me in my thoughts and sort of hinted, “Where do I fit in? Do you have time for me in your schedule? When can we catch up and talk?”

The truth is, I have prayed for my blogging dreams to come true, but I haven’t really had a conversation with God about it. I haven’t told him of my dreams and aspirations to build that relationship, but I’ve told him almost as if He were going to answer my prayer.

The truth is, Jesus hasn’t been a priority over blogging and I haven’t made time for Him as I should. That relationship has been taking the backburner while I follow my own path.

Don’t we all know that going your own way without God is a big no-no?

It breaks my heart that I have neglected Him once again. It breaks my heart that the Lord just tries to get my attention, but my fixation distracts me from Him. It breaks my heart that the Lord loves me so much, yet my behavior is showing that I love blogging more than I love Him.

I don’t love blogging more than I love the Lord, but as of recently, I’ve been going down that path. I haven’t been praying about blogging, I haven’t had a single conversation with Him, but instead I’ve been following a checklist, both with blogging and with the Lord.

I am so incredibly thankful that the Lord broke through and broke me down to realize what direction I’ve been heading. I still do love blogging, but I realize that I need to put more time and more effort into my relationship with Him.

Related: Be Where Your Feet are Planted

That being said, I am giving up blogging.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” –Proverbs 4:25-27

You might be thinking, “Woah Sally, that’s kind of extreme, don’t you think? If you love it so much, don’t give it up!”

Well, let me explain myself when I say I am “giving up blogging.”

I am giving up blogging to Him. I am letting Him take the wheel, I am letting the Lord take this where He wants, and I am going to try (with try being the key word) to let go and let God.

I want Him to be the reason for every post. I want Him to be the driving force behind my dreams. I want Him to fill me up, not some numbers that fluctuate and are unpredictable.

I am giving up blogging to Him.

I am going to continue to blog, don’t you worry. I still love blogging and yes, I still have that dream of being a full-time blogger living in Alabama in a white house with a little dog. I still have that dream and hope. But that’s the thing, it’s just a dream. God exceeds our expectations, He exceeds our hopes and dreams, and He ultimately knows what is best for me, best for you. I just have to trust that He knows what He is doing. I have to just trust in Him and His promises.

Related: The Comparison Game

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” –Colossians 3:2

Who knows if I’ll be a full-time blogger in the future. I sure as heck don’t know. I would love it, but I don’t want to call the shots. I want God to do his job and take the wheel.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” –Proverbs 3:5

I am still going to be the same me, but with more Jesus. I am going to spend a little less time behind the scenes so that I can really spend time with my first love, Jesus.

He is the reason I’m here. He is the reason I’m forgiven. He, simply, is.

As I am giving up my blogging and placing it in God’s hands, I encourage you to let go and let God. Let Him guide you. Let Him love you. Let Him show you all of His power. Let Him work profoundly in your life. Give up blogging to Him.

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