Hey y’all! Sorry for the brief hiatus as I finished up my Junior Year (new post about that coming soon). I am back and ready to write some blog posts! To kickstart summer, here is a post that one of my best friends, Julia, wrote for my blog. She is such an intentional person who is best at empathizing, laughing, loving, and being honest. She is one of those hidden gems that is hard to come by but cherished and adored. On this post are some pictures of Julia that I recently took (isn’t she just SO beautiful?!). I have been loving portrait photography recently, so here’s my latest! Let’s give Julia some love on her (super good and well written!) post! Here we go!
Her path is not my path.
So often we look to others and think, “I want that.” We look at other people’s circumstances, families, friendships, relationships, and we long for what we see in someone else. For me, these thoughts of comparison have been asking myself, “what does she have that I don’t have?” I allowed myself to get so low because I looked at everyone else and what was happening around me, and turned that around into believing that I was flawed.
God created us to be uniquely different, but I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in the patterns of this world and what society says about who we have to be. Eventually we begin to feel as if we have to fit a certain mold. Previously when I have been taught the message of not conforming, I always compartmentalized that to be about partying. What I didn’t realize is that now I was believing the same lies from Satan that I have to mold to be who society tells me to be, but in a different way. I believed that I was not thriving because I am not in a relationship. Suddenly, the message about not conforming to who society tells you that you have to be, had a completely new meaning.
Romans 12: 2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
While the Lord has been teaching me some very valuable lessons these past few months, I still fall victim to the lies that I am not good enough.
If we are being honest, it’s hard. It’s hard to not be in a relationship when everyone around you is in a relationship. It’s hard to be happy for your friends who are getting attention when you just want a dose of that attention yourself. It’s hard to hold your head up high when you feel like everyone around you is getting exactly what you want, and you are the only one left out. In the face of all of my friends being in relationships or starting new relationships, I began to look in the mirror and feel discouraged. Instead of finding a genuine joy for others and trust that God has someone in store for me, I compared myself to others. I felt so low with the pressures on my shoulders that I had to be like everyone else. What was wrong with me? Why were my friends being noticed but I wasn’t? Why couldn’t I just be in a relationship like them?
What I came to realize, was that my friends being noticed didn’t make me any less noticed.
My friends being in relationships did not make me less lovable. Her path is different than mine. I am who I am today because of my faith in God and the lessons that He has taught me. The lessons I have needed to learn have been different than the lessons that God had for my friends. Everything in my life up until now has shaped me into who I am, and I truly want to be who God created me to be. I want to fulfill God’s purpose for my life. Well, God’s purpose for my life cannot be fulfilled through the life of another. I wish for the circumstances of others, but I cannot be just like someone else while also being exactly who God created me to be. I am uniquely made and my path is uniquely laid out by a perfect, all-powerful, and all-knowing God.
Romans 12: 2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
I realized, I don’t need to be like everyone else.
I don’t need to conform to the ideas and thoughts that society has put in my head. My purpose is not to have a boyfriend. Our purpose is to serve God and bring glory to His name. I began to learn, and I am still learning, that it is okay that I am single. It is okay that I am in the stage of life that I am, because that is where God has placed me. I do not need to follow the pattern of society. I do not need to be in a relationship right now just because my friends are. The more I press into understanding who God wants me to be, the more I am able to see His good, pleasing, and perfect will for my life.
My time will come. Your time will come. Her path is not my path.
God has different plans for each and every one of us. Just because my friends are going on dates or in serious relationships, does not mean that I have to be there too. Even though sometimes I wish I was there, there is nothing wrong with me that is preventing me from being in a relationship. I am not a failure, or any less worthy because I am not in a relationship. The only relationship status that should define us, is our relationship status with God. When I began to shift my thoughts from “what am I missing?” to “what do you have planned for me Lord, how can I serve you and fulfill my purpose?” I began to compare myself less and let go of my life into God’s hands.
In the weirdest way, I went through my most discouraging time of singleness and turned that around into my most content moment of singleness. When I gained perspective of how good, pleasing, and perfect God’s will is, I realized that I would not want to be anywhere other than where God has placed me. I am content in my singleness because I am on God’s path for me. I am so continually reminded of how perfect God’s plans are, and I do not want to be on any other path than the one he has perfectly laid out for me.
Isaiah 55: 8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
God holds your life in his hands. He cares about the big things and the little things. His ways are far greater than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves. Fighting the lies of Satan is a daily struggle, but when I remember God’s goodness, I can rest in the fact that I am exactly where God wants me to be. He will give us what is good for us at just the right time. Trust Him, follow Him, and let go of the rest.
Psalm 84: 11 “The LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”