As much as I hate this season of life, I kind of love it at the same time. The things that I hate are the things that I love. Being patient is hard, but I just know I’m going to look back and see how God’s hand was in it all, how He was sovereign while I once again was disobedient… Facing the unknown is hard, but knowing that He has our lives in His hands is freeing and breathtaking all at once. All of the good things coming to a close, even the hard and bad things, are truly going to be missed in a few months.
This season of life is so unique that I can’t even describe it to you unless you’re in it. It’s eerie and strange and good and hopeful and scary and wonderful and hard. This season of life is so hard but it’s also so good.
I too often look back on seasons to reminisce, wanting to have a do-over, to live in that moment again. As much as I love looking back on the past, I love to look towards the future. There is something exciting in the scariness of the unknown. Anything can happen, and the most miraculous things that are so unexpected will fall into place and fit into the puzzle, being the perfect puzzle piece that I was looking for the whole time. I couldn’t find the puzzle piece because I was looking too closely. I could only see what was on the table, and I couldn’t see what was hiding.
The hiding place is the place where God reigns and He rules. The hiding place is that beautiful haven where the unknowns are known and the lost are not simply found, but they simply weren’t ever lost. The small view that we have, the small trust that we carry, those are the things that make us worry. We worry about the future because we can’t see it, but God has it in his hiding place- that wonderful place where all things are known. In some ways, we are in that hiding place. We are in the dark, but we are fully known and fully loved. We can’t see what’s to come, but our hearts and our intentions are known without having spoken a word. I think that’s the beauty of being kept in the dark. While it’s scary and sometimes disappointing, it’s all full of wonder and grace. We can’t see what’s in the dark, but He can. More-so than that, we CAN see that there is good in the dark, as He is our flashlight. He is the flashlight that guides us, shows us his way, shows us His plans for us that are full of wonder. What’s to say that the hiding place, what we see as the dark isn’t filled with grace, love, and peace? We always assume the worst so that we aren’t let down and disappointed, but in reality, we should always expect the best. Not the best of what we think of being the best, but the best FOR us, as ordained by Him.
This season is scary, but it’s good. It is good because while we think that we are lost, we were never lost in His eyes. He is guiding us and teaching us every step of the way, transforming us to see His plans, to see what He sees in his hiding place.