My life is the craziest and busiest it has ever been. I am graduating in less than 30 days, I am going to be living in Birmingham, AL, and I’m actively looking for a teaching job (with no luck so far).
Life. Is. Crazy.
From being a maid of honor and planning all of the events and showers, to submitting a massive project called edTPA (which, I PASSED!), to student teaching, life has been wild.
At this time, I am loving teaching. I know a while back I was discouraged about teaching, but after nearly two semesters of just student teaching, I can say that I LOVE it. I figured out that I love the little kids and I would love to teach first grade ideally. I love engaging with the kids, building those special relationships with the sweet kids, and making sure each student knows that he/she is loved and he/she is capable of learning. Wasn’t it the worst in school when you felt like your teacher didn’t care or when your teacher didn’t believe in you?
In my student teaching placements, I’ve been with fourth grade, first grade, and now one year olds. I am absolutely loving it. I am certified birth through 6th grade, so all of my student teaching placements correlate with my certifications. While I really enjoyed fourth grade, I think that I am made for the smaller kids. I am more of a soft spoken person and I find that it’s easier to talk to the kids who are younger. On the same note, I would take a job anywhere I got one.
So, what about the job search?
Finding a job is hard and stressful and discouraging and it sometimes ends in tears. I truly did not think that finding a job would be this hard and at this point, it’s really hard not to compare myself to others. It’s hard trusting God with everything you are and everything you have. I have been holding onto these verses.
“Show me the way I should walk” Psalm 143:8
“Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you” Deuteronomy 8:2-5.
I know that God has my life all planned out. That’s easy to tell myself over and over again. The hard part is knowing when and where and how. God can move the mountains and I know he can do it in my life, in these minor situations. One of my friends just got diagnosed with cancer at 22 years old, so that keeps things in perspective, too.
The thing that really gets me is that we are not promised anything in this life. I am not promised a job. I am not promised to have a job as a teacher. That is what scares me. I am scared of ending up with no job, embarrassed, and defeated. I am scared of not having a job and having to figure out what to do from there. I am scared of not being enough and not being successful. My constant prayer has been for the Lord to provide. Granted, this prayer looks like me asking God to place a job in my lap, but I know that His timing is perfect. Why is it so hard to trust Him with everything that we are? Why is it so hard to trust that everything will work out? It always does work out in the end. His plan is always better than mine.
So, as of right now, I have no job and I have no leads. I’m praying that the Lord provides in the area of a job and that I am able to teach a younger grade this coming fall. The Lord is so good throughout all of the seasons and He is just transforming my heart, day by day. He is teaching me so much through and through.
So, what about the blog?
It’s no lie that I’ve taken a step back from blogging. I could make a ton of excuses like me not having time, me not feeling confident enough to take photos, but really, I have just wanted a break. This blog had come to something that I dreaded doing as I was trying to create an image for myself. It had become an idol once again. There was too much pressure to create content and post that I started backing away and stepping back from it.
In the future, yeah, I would love to continue blogging. I would also love to include other content like teaching strategies and content, but that’s also up in the air. Y’all know that my hobbies are constantly changing. For now, this is an update and I don’t know where this blog will be in 6 months or a year from now. Maybe I’ll get my mojo back and I will be inspired to write. Maybe not. We’ll see.
I think that God has been telling me to slow down recently. I am currently writing this post in bed with a migraine and a fever. I have been constantly on the go and I have not had time to sit down and rest. It’s easy to be busy. When did it get so hard to rest and be still? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Anyways, I encourage you to take a step back and take 3o minutes today to rest. Just rest. Sit there. Listen to music. Read your Bible. Just sit there…
Thank you for following along with me on this crazy journey called life. Y’all are such rockstars.